Memory Walk - What is it all about and who are we all walking for???

On Saturday, Oct. 3, we participated again this year in the Memory Walk that is put on by the Alzheimer's Association.  This year it was in Oxnard.  It was a really nice walk and nice to see people participating and doing what they can do to contribute to the cause.  My wish is that one day the Memory Walk will become as big as the Relay for Life and all of their success.  It takes a lot of hard work and dedication by a lot of really wonderful people to put it all together.  This year I did not receive not nearly as many donations as I have in the past.  I think the economy has a lot to do with this.  Either that, or sometimes I think that people just don't realize how bad this disease really is and how many people it really affects.  It not only affects the person who has it, it affects the caretakers and their families but it also has an affect on many others as well.

There is a situation in my office that I have been wanting to blog about and so I will blog about it now.  I have a co-worker whose evenings have been disrupted by a woman who lives on her street that has Alzheimer's.  It started several months ago one evening when my co-worker (I will call her Pat) was relaxing in her home after work when she heard someone pounding on her front door.  She opened the door and there was a woman at Pat's doorstep.  The woman was asking for her husband and her kids and she told Pat to send them home.  The woman was clearly aggravated and not happy at all.  The only problem is this woman's husband passed away years ago and her kids are grown.  Pat could tell right away that obviously something was wrong with this woman and so she told the woman that her husband was not at her house.  Since then, Pat has had to deal with this woman on her doorstep several times and each time the woman demands that her husband come home.  This situation has become very frustrating for Pat because she is not only concerned about this woman's safety but also for her (Pat's) sanity.  Each time the woman shows up at her door, Pat dreads the very next time that she comes again and at times she is on edge in the evening at her house because she's expecting her to show up again and does not want to be startled by the pounding on her door.  At times Pat has told me that she dreads going home at night because she has become a little frightened about what the woman might do if she does not find her husband.  The woman walks with a cane and sometimes she will pound on Pat's door with her cane.  Pat is also concerned about the woman falling because she appears to be a little wobbly when she walks.  Pat has called Adult Protective Services many times and has called the police several times but each time has been told that there is nothing that can be done about the woman.  Everyone in the neighborhood knows about the woman and her condition but no one can do anything about it.

Pat was given the phone number of the woman's daughter by another neighbor and has had a couple of conversations with the daughter.  Now the daughter lives in a different city, is married, has a child and works two jobs.  From the conversations that Pat has had with the daughter, the daughter understands that her mother needs help but appears to be so overwhelmed with not only her day to day schedule, but also now with her mother's situation.  Pat cannot understand why the woman goes only to her house and no one else's house.   This past weekend the woman showed up at Pat's doorstep again demanding that her husband come home and telling Pat to send him home.  The woman is clearly frustrated with Pat because she thinks her husband is at her house and Pat is clearly frustrated with the woman.  Pat decides to telephone the woman's daughter and the daughter tells Pat that she is on her way to deal with her mom.  Pat shuts the door because she does not know what the woman will do next and quite frankly is afraid of what the woman is capable of doing.

The daughter shows up and walks her mom back to her house and then telephones Pat at her house and requests that Pat walk down to her mother's house so that she can have a talk with her.  Pat reluctantly walks to her house not knowing what to expect but hoping that this will somehow now resolve things.  When Pat walks into the house and is asked to sit down, the woman looks at Pat and says "What the hell are you doing in my house?" then she tells her to get the hell out and twice calls her an ugly ass person.  Pat is startled by this behavior and the daughter tells Pat that the mother thinks that Pat had an affair with her husband and that is why she thinks that he is still at her house.  The daughter knows that this is not true and tells Pat this but the woman cannot get it out of her head.  After the woman again made some more derogatory comments, Pat left the house.  Pat once again calls Adult Protective Services and is told, once again, that there is nothing that can be done about the situation and because of the privacy laws, they cannot even contact the family when these things happen.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE???

Nothing can be done...until it's too late!  I would like to know when the time is that they, whether it be Adult Protective Services, the police, her family, whoever, think they are going to do something.  Will it be when this woman wanders off into the night because she can no longer figure out how to get back from Pat's house to her house and wanders down the street and gets hit by a car?  Or, will it be when the woman decides she's going to cook something and instead burns down her house and the house next to hers.  Or, will it be when some lunatic decides to show up at her door and robs her or even worse, physically harms her.  When is it obvious in someone's mind that someone needs to step in and take control?  The daughter talks about helping but only shows up once in a while to check on her mom.  The daughter has her own life to live and obviously not an easy one.  It could be that her daughter has a situation that does not allow for her mother to live with her.  Maybe her house isn't big enough or maybe her husband won't allow it.  Honestly, I think her daughter is clueless when it comes to her mother's situation.  Why is that?  Could it be because after 100 years from the day that this disease was discovered that there still is not enough awareness about this disease?  Isn't the message getting through to everyone?  Hello....people, WAKE UP - especially the baby boomers.  Don't think for one moment that it can't happen to you or to someone you love.  Your husband, your wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your mother, your father, your best friend, your neighbor...

What is the Memory Walk really all about and what are we walking for and WHO are we walking for?  I'll tell you who. For all of the scientists who are working hard to find a cure. For my mother who continues to need care.  For all of those that have just been diagnosed 71 seconds ago.  For all of those that will be diagnosed in the next 71 seconds.  For all the caretakers who are at the end of their rope and ready to jump off a cliff. For all of those family members who are left frustrated and heartbroken.  And let's not forget Pat and all the other Pat's out there who have now become victims and who are absolutely frustrated by the system. The Memory Walk is for all of us because this disease affects all of us in one way or another.  So, next time you see that the Memory Walk is in town, PLEASE considering making a donation because you never know when that donation is going to make it's way back to you in one way or another.